You can agree with me, it gets busy during these five days of the week: Monday-Fridays. Well! For me, it gets busy in my house. There are times when, I partially see my Mum. [Work Ei!!!] Partially because I say ‘Good morning to her with sleepy eyes’ and the next thing, she is out of the house.
So I love to make the weekend, one where I unwind with friends. But this last weekend, it hit me that someone else needed to chill as well; the best gift God has given to me – My Mum. So the selfie above is an evidence. We had some Mum and Daughter moments.
But that’s not what this post is about…..
I said she is the best gift God gave me, right? Yes! I was raised by a single mum. Do I hate men? Nope! Do I believe all men are bad? Nah! I have an amazing brother, uncles and male friends as proof. But you see, it was not always like this. There was a process.
Let me say this before I forget: so long as you hold on to an excuse and give it meaning, devil will continue to fuel it with fallacies appearing true.
When you read findings and the lot, there are different statistics and reports of the expectations of children brought up by single parents. What should be expected by the society, in the lives and behaviours of such children. Well! I won’t argue and say that those researches are false.
But here is what I will say, ‘when Jesus is involved, the reports of the world become lies, except where the reports are meant to correlate with what the Bible has stated [e.g Endtime signs]’
There were times where I wept my eyes out, danced in a pity party, and took on a questioner’s position and asked God so many questions. For example, ‘Why couldn’t you make my family normal, God eh, why?’. It is possible he may have said something to me at those moments. But I wasn’t having it. No reason was worth listening to [Well! so I felt]
But it only dawned on me few months ago, I got an understanding. And he said:
‘I chose this way, so that you won’t have a distorted image of who I am’
Wow! that settled it. I can’t really say for everyone, but personally I’ve come to a point in my walk in God where, if there be anything in existence, that will prevent me from seeing God for who he is; I want that eradicated. So long as it pleases him, and my walk with him is perfected.
Have you ever thought of the fact that God has made your life to be as it is, because he does not want his relationship with you to be jeopardized? That he is choosing the foolish things to confound the wise, making the supposed ‘abnormal’ produce extra-ordinary results. [1 Corinthians 1:27]
If you’ve not seen your life in that manner, I pray that the Holy Spirit will open your eyes. Amen!
One very important, life-changing lesson that I’ve gotten from being raised by my mum is that I see God as my father. He does not have to be earthly, one thing is certain: He delivers!
So brothers and sisters, don’t go around looking for a mother/father figure or mother/ father-girlfriend/boyfriend figure or father-wife/husband figure. There is a father whose arms are always outstretched to do exceeding, abundantly above what an earthly father can do. Don’t get me wrong, there is a purpose for earthly fathers/earthly mothers. What I am saying is, the fact that you were not raised by both parents is no excuse to go around feeling defeated, treating the opposite sex horribly, sinning against your body for money/pleasure or engaging in activities to take such feelings away. Nah! It won’t work.
Let me tell you what works, I’ve tried him and he delivered…
Looking to God as your father/mother is the only way. He takes away that hurt and dysfunctional behaviour that the world expects to see, then he gives you extraordinary. No man/woman, girlfriend/wife, sugardaddy/sugarmummy will make things better.
When you look to God, you also constantly need to renew your heart with the Word of God. Trust me! The devil won’t just give up. He will constantly keep bringing up different theories of ‘issues’ with being brought up by a single parent. Meditating on the Word of God wipes those thoughts off, and you begin to see yourself as God sees you.
When you meditate on the Word of God, your expectations changes. The thing about the Word of God is that, it is not just letters; the
Spirit of God lives in those words, and we have to allow the Spirit to do his work in our lives; then our expectations change. You don’t wake up thinking: ‘Oh I will never get married, if I do, he/she will leave; just like my mum/dad did’ or ‘I’m not good enough, no lady/guy will ever see me as beautiful/handsome, at least that’s why my mum/dad left’. NO!!!! Scrap those imaginations. God is set to use you to create a new pace in your family.
Your past has happened, but your future is happening greatly before your eyes. Your thoughts are very important, as cliché as this may sound. [Prov 23:7] You live out your thoughts, consciously or unconsciously. People may have said so many negative things about you because of how you were brought up, that does not matter at all because the one who holds your future is God, and before you were formed in your mother’s womb, he had a plan for your life and he is still faithful to bring that to pass. [Jer 1:5; Psalm 139:13] Just stick with him.
Over the years, I’ve seen [and I’m still seeing] God break me and remould me. He has taken my insecurities, my imaginations, my fears, my worries, my attachment to the reports; and he has given me a new life. One that I cannot talk about in one post.
With this new life I live, I cannot just keep quiet and see people make the excuse of not having this/that as the root cause of the life they live now. Accepting Christ is the only way. No man or woman will take away your dark days and give you brighter days.
You don’t want to read this alone, I know you’ll love to share this post.
Have you read my last post?
P.S: There’s a part II, coming soon!
3 thoughts on “What has been your excuse I?”
i was raised by a single mother also and a massive number of aunts, at some point i really struggled to find a father-figure, sometimes i just felt like screaming; having these ‘male’ challenges and needing a ‘guy’ to talk to, it was a hard time! I have now come to see God as ‘Daddy’, and its been a beautiful experience! God bless you for this.
God bless you too, thanks for reading. You’ve wonderful write ups on your blog. Your recent piece: ‘one night stands’ was enlightening!