|Image from Google|
My love for movies, series, (you name it) any thing that consists of a protagonist and an antagonist; is grand. So the fact that since the day I was introduced to the British soap opera, Eastenders, I’ve been hooked, is no surprise. So recently, there’s a storyline from this ‘soap’ that has got me thinking………
So there was a lady [I guess I can refer to her as a lady, she was 20 years] that is dead, her name is Lucy Beale [name in Eastenders]. It so happens that her death occurred at a ‘not-so-good’ time, as no parent wishes for their child to die before them, talk more of having a misunderstanding just before the death of your child. Well! That was exactly what happened in Eastenders. Lucy had just fallen out with her father because he had searched her room and found ‘coke’, and also divulged his finding to a ‘friend’ of hers. However, this misunderstanding was a build-up of how Lucy had been feeling for a long time.
Lucy was a clever, beautiful and industrious lady. She was one who wanted to succeed at whatever she set her heart to do, and her zeal was undeniable. However, she needed something she was not getting. Something so many teens and youths, and generally,
everyone needs- approval/compliments/appreciation/assurance. You can choose to give it whatsoever name/term you desire. In my understanding, following the drama, Lucy was starved of approval/appreciation/compliments. And this resulted in a disoriented life even in the midst of her strive to be a better person, while achieving her goals.
|Image from Google|
The truth is there are so many Lucys [representing both male and female] in the world we live in today. All they may require may just be sentences like: ‘great job, well done’, ‘I’m proud of you’, ‘I know you’ll do better next time, don’t give up’……. but they are never forthcoming. I put up a post on self-love sometime ago, today’s post can be said to be a continuation. The truth is, self-love doesn’t generate out of the blue, a ‘conductor’ is needed to nurture or stimulate the self-love. And most times, these ‘conductors’ are parents/families before the friends, colleagues, teachers ‘conductors’ add to that of the primary ‘conductors’.
The part that the primary conductor plays is very vital and cannot be over emphasised. Every human being craves attention, appreciation, and recognition. It’s only right that the foundation is solidly built. It’s no secret that whatever a child is not getting from home, there is a huge possibility that the child will seek for it outside, and most times those that give these recognitions and appreciations do not have the best intentions.
In the case of Lucy, she wasn’t getting the recognition and approval she sought from her father, and it was very easy for her to get carried away when her best friend’s father showed interest in her. This lack of recognition and approval is one of the reasons that some ladies and guys join gangs or get involved in dangerous activities.
|Image from Google|
Oh! need I add that Lucy said something that struck my heart. She told her father that ‘the main reason she was taking ‘coke’ was to block out every thoughtless word he had said to her’. The power of words cannot be undermined, be it by a parent, friend, colleague, acquaintance. It just has a way of sticking.
So what’s my take?
Parents appreciating their children really goes a long way in the life of a child. The words they speak to them, the time they have for them and listening to them [not just hearing]. Parents are the ‘primary conductors’ of self-love.
Friends also play a huge part. It’s quite sad that giving compliments has become a difficult task for people to carry out these days. A ‘you look good’ comment could change the life of a person. I think it is high time the ‘Pull him/her syndrome’ be dropped. It has made no positive effect to lives and will never.
So who is this post for? It’s for me, you and everyone. So let’s do something henceforth, you see someone working hard, appreciate his/her efforts. You see someone who has a nice smile, tell him/her. You like the way someone dresses, tell him/her. Thinking it, is not close to saying it. We need to give importance to the little things; because they are the big things!
What’s your take?
P.S A friend of mine has requested to know how fears and insecurity of oneself and the future leads to unhappiness, and could be the cause of depression and even suicide among youths of today? Please share your opinion