…Still Happy New Year 2017!
I won’t obliviously assume that everyone has had an awesome start this year, but still we won’t allow one chapter dictate the ending of this book we are writing aka our lives. So you may have started the year, losing a friendship or a relationship, losing a job, failing an exam, struggling with your finances, struggling with your spiritual walk, barely breathing well due to an ailment and the list is endless; still remember that the beginning of a year does not automatically stop life from happening.
Personally, I was visited by one of the ‘life happening agents’, listed above, and I am going to share some tips to help get back on, into the race.
Let’s get the ball rolling…
Cry. Sulk. And Do It As You Like.
If you have ever been told that: ‘crying is for wimps or babies’, you have been lied to. Neither is crying a sign of weakness or defeat. Please can we just remind ourselves that We are human, not robots. We have feelings, so please cry as you choose. Just get your tissue and let it all out. Crying does not make the devil a winner, either. You are only admitting that once again, things can go wrong and you are licensed to react.
So please cry. But do not cry for a whole year. Don’t unpack there. Let the crying move you forward, not backward.
Vent. It May Involve Person(s) Or Abba.
I understand that people are different and react differently. Person A may be a person who would like his/her space after such an occurrence, so it’s ideal to say to person A, occupy your space as you choose, enjoy the solitude, but don’t settle there, so you don’t slip into depression.
Person A needs to become Person B and talk to somebody, not just anybody, but someone you can trust to hold you down in such a low point of your life. Make sure you are not sharing with someone who will demean the pain you feel or however you may be feeling. Venting is very relieving, but you have to choose who you vent to. Someone of wisdom and integrity. A person who understands the true meaning of confidentiality and respects that. Also, it is very key that you vent to someone who will hold you down in prayer.
Or you may feel better telling it to God instead of humans, then feel free to tell it to Him as you feel. You definitely get the best listener who knows how you feel and who has the power to release strength to ease the pain.
If you say you have friends, and you have no one to vent to, then it’s best to say that your circle needs some reshuffling.
Face Your Pain. It May Involve Blocking At First.
If there’s anything a person would ever wish for, when going through a challenge is this wish ‘I hope this is just a dream’. We just want to go back to the moments where the ‘interruption’ never existed. Unfortunately, we don’t get what we want every time, so we have to acknowledge the pain, the loss, the change, etc.
And this may begin with the initial stage of blocking, which involves getting into activities to take your mind off how terrible you feel, e.g, sleeping, working, binge watching series or movies, partying, etc. It’s important to know that these activities do come to an end, so there has to be a more effective strategy; which is to face the pain.
Accept that the interruption has actually taken place. Ask yourself if there was a way to have avoided it, and if the answer is yes, learn the lesson and keep it close to your heart; and if the answer is no, then look for the best way to move forward, even if you have a scar, you still have tomorrow and breath.
When you begin to see pain, as an instrument of purpose, therein lies your freedom to move forward.
Journal. Write The Lessons Down.
The truth is, as child of God, I can tell you that you do not go through your rough times alone. God drops lifelines for us to get up again, to encourage us to not give up. And it is important to write down the lifelines, because it is easy to forget when you have a lot of things going on in a day, but a penned down lesson is easy to share with another person.
While you write down how you feel, also write down the victories in the challenges. Pen down the light bulbs in the tunnel. You do this to remind yourself of the faithfulness of God in the future when you have to deal with another interruption. Yes, the interruptions never go away.
Write it down, so that when you read it, you remember that God is faithful.
Rejoice. With Those Who Are Rejoicing.
I am sorry but there isn’t any other way to put it, but you have to look past your tears and smile with those who started the year on a high note. Don’t pretend to be happy for them, but prayerfully ask God to give you a heart that’s able to rejoice with others who may have what you have just lost or what you are still seeking for. Yes, it can be done.
I blogged extensively about this subject, a very good read: HELP! I can’t Rejoice With Those Who Rejoice
Also remember to Pray. It’s possible that in the moments of dealing with whatever it is we are going through, we may not feel like getting on that kabashing train, but we cannot stay away for that long. Remember…
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4 v 6 NIV
We need to speak forth the strength and power we need, to move on from the loss or setbacks. Prayer aligns us to the will of God.
Once again, Happy New Year!
So how do you get over a setback or rough times?
PT QUOTE OF THE DAY
Prayer enlarges our imaginations and makes us grateful participants in what has been and what is yet to come. Eugene Peterson
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