When does Tradition cross the line?

Happy New Year! It’s a new year and everyone has got different expectations for the year 2014. I will like to appreciate you for every second and minute you’ve spent on this blog, it means a lot and words cannot express my depth of gratitude. This year, I’ve decided to make your every moment worthwhile.

While in the spirit of the contentment of seeing the new year, I just thought to myself; what will I be doing differently on ‘Precious Thoughts’?……I will be focusing on Quality rather than Quantity, in essence, I hope to put up posts that have contents of peculiar standards. Therefore, I am not into how many posts have I put up in a week but into what kind of post is on the blog. I’ve realised that Quality attracts quantity, hopefully before mid-year; we will see the evidence.

So starting off is a matter that has gotten my attention in the past two weeks and has been fueled by some movies and certain happenings in present time.

Let’s talk about Tradition. According to the Oxford Dictionary, Tradition is ‘the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation; or the fact of being passed on in this way’. I’m a Nigerian, so let’s talk on one Nigerian stuff. There is this significant aspect of tradition practiced in some parts of Nigeria, that has grasped my attention.

Bride Price- the amount of money or property or wealth paid by the groom or his family to the parents of a woman upon the marriage of their daughter to the groom. The tradition of bride price is practiced differently all around the world, but permit me to say that some parts of Nigeria are abusing it, with a capital A.

Lol! Who sees this happening?

I’m aware of the lists that is given to the groom and his family to make provision of all mentioned items before the marriage can take place. Most times, this lists are absolutely ridiculous. Don’t misunderstand me here, I don’t hate the ‘bride price’ custom, what I hate is the greed of man hiding under the umbrella of ‘it is our tradition’. I appreciate the fact that a lot of hard work and training has been invested into the ladies and all, but do we think of the consequences of this ‘Women as commodities’ practice?

I’ve heard of a man who abused his wife at the slightest occurrence of a mistake, and always made reference to the fact that ‘with the bride price he had paid, he should not get anything below standard from her’; in a case as this-the man has been abused by his in-laws while he passes it on to his wife. On a lighter note, I’ve heard of men say they will go to Dominican Republic to marry a wife as they are free. lol [I’m not sure how true that is].

But my question is: do you feel there’s a time when tradition ‘crosses the line’? at what point does it cross the line? do you have or know of any personal experience of Bride Price ‘saga’ or other traditions that are being practiced that you feel is crossing the line?

How do we make a balance? are you for the ‘bring whatever you have'[not 5naira though.lol]? or do you think bride price should be fixed?

Amazingly, the people who make these lists may not necessarily be your Parents. It may be a ‘Grandfather’s uncle’s kinsmen’. Personally, I think the authority to generate such list should not be given to anyone who has not made any impact/contribution to the growth/success of the bride. You may think that’s harsh, tough! Desperate times call for desperate measures.

So what’s your take?

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10 thoughts on “When does Tradition cross the line?

  1. Anonymous says:

    exactly my point, let those who laboured in the upbringing be the ones to determine d bride price. but they must do so with the understanding that no amount can truly quantify their efforts in bringing up the lady from her childhood. so they should also be considerate. Thats my take.P.O

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  2. Personally, I don't believe in bride price…but I fully believe in love. The fact is paying bride price doesn't stop the so greedy family from continual tasking of the husband. So what's the use? Marriage isn't a way of trading but an announcement to anyone concerned that you've found someone you truly love and want to make her your wife. Thanks

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  3. Adaobi says:

    Wordsmith welldone dear.that aspect of Marriage has to be looked into because it can be very disheartening,had an opportunity of seeing a list once and seriously all I told myself was hopefully the Groom doesn't Run away.Lol

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  4. Anonymous says:

    I agree with you, the extent to which some families go is appalling. You would hear of instances of fathers being happy about having more female children than male, as that seems to be their source of future wealth. Parents pushing their daughters to marry wealthy men without knowing their source of income and at the detriment of their children's happiness. Shouldn't the happiness of their children be the focus of marriage and not some quick money making scheme?

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  5. To me am not against bride price, but am not comfortable with people who didn't contribute any dime in training somebody to proudly come out in the name of village people to demand for stuffs during traditional marriages, well am gonna change this with my future daughters, everything should go to only the parents who suffered to train their daughters 😦

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  6. Uche Ohus, it's quite refreshing to hear what you intend doing with your daughters. I am not against bride price either, I just hate when certain people hide under the guise of bride price to feed their greedy selves.

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