It’s a deal! But what do I get in return?
It was a spring morning, the sun was out; and no sign of rain. The past two days had been an archetype of ‘raining cats and dogs’. It was the Spring half term, and the weather had prevented Ola from visiting his friend, Chima. Since the sun was out this day, Ola’s mum [Mrs Majekodunmi] decided to kill two birds with a stone. She wanted to go shopping and couldn’t leave Ola at home by himself.
A play date it is then! She said to Ola.
Within the next 20 minutes, Ola and his mum were on their way to Chima’s house as his mother [Mrs Ikechukwu] had said it wouldn’t be a bother to have Ola at hers, as Chima would love it. Mrs Majekodunmi had packed some of Ola’s favourite snacks, before their departure for Chima’s residence. She dropped him off, exchanged pleasantries with Mrs Ikechukwu and left for her shopping.
Although it had just been four days since Chima and Ola had seen in prep school, they started catching up as if it had been four years. While they were playing with their DS games, Chima became hungry and wanted a snack, he went to the kitchen; took a pack of Hula hoops [cheese and onion]. He opened it and started eating. Ola asked to taste it. Chima gave him one ring out of the possible 30 rings in the pack [they are his favourite].
Uhmmmm, this is yummy! Ola shrieked. Please, can I have some more? he asked
Chima frowned, Okay! I will give you but what do I get in return?……………..
I can honestly identify with the above scenario. As a child, if you were ever going to get any of my sweeties, biscuits and all, you should be prepared to console me with something more enticing [valuable]. After all, you were definitely shortening my ration.
Here’s the drill: being a child comes with its innocence, naivety, and all sorts. So there are so many things that can be overlooked. But with time, those childish thoughts and behaviours need to go.
It is quite sad that in the world we live in, giving is drastically becoming an ‘extinct’ act. We have more transactions and exchanges [trade by barter] than giving. So if a person must give something out, something must come in as well. When you say “I am giving a gift”, expectations for a reward should be ‘knocked off the table’-that’s the difference between gift and commerce.
If today I give someone something, and the motive behind my giving is to get ‘an equal’ or ‘bigger’ reward, then it is not a gift any more, it is a transaction. Naturally, human beings are wired in a manner that ‘if I give, a reward should follow suit’. But I am a firm believer of giving generously not expecting a repayment. How can this be possible? The Holy Spirit work this out in us.
So if every time you give and your motive behind giving is to get back, then I consider this statement as wrong– ‘I gave Betty a perfume’ and this statement – ‘I sold a perfume to Betty and she gave me £40 or She gave me a pair of shoes instead of cash’ as right.
As a sign of courtesy, it is expected that when you receive a gift, you give something back, I am well aware of that. But the truth is when you are giving genuinely, you do not expect anything back. As a receiver, you are under no obligation to give something back. If you can give back, and want to give back, give! But if you can’t give back, don’t kill yourself trying to give back. There should be a difference between gift and goods.
So do you think there are certain circumstances where you have [compulsory] to repay a gift?
12 thoughts on “Always want a return??”
Very true my dear,d act of giving is gradually giving way in d world we live in now,people are more concerned about wat dey get in return,genuine giving is more lyk a fairytale dis days and one dat breaks d hrt d most is dat even in church u cnt even find people who give genuinely,most even give offering bcos of wat dey want 4rm God….may God help us all and give a hrt dats interested in d needs of others
So true! Giving is being legalised. It is no longer out of the compassion of the heart/love, it is now out of obligation/expectations. May God help us all. Thanks for your contribution.
Great work Princess. Am glad you wrote on this topic. This aspect is really important in our lives. I stand to he corrected but my view on this issue is quite different. I believe the motives behind our giving matter a lot. When we give to expect a divine reward or blessings, it is SOWING. This is to fulfil the promises in Malachi 3:10
When we give to expect a reward majorly in form of money in order to gain more profit for survival, this is TRADING or BUSINESS. And this is very important for all business people. What's the aim of a business? Definitely to make profit.
When we give and expect much more than we deserve, then this is being GREEDY!
Taking for instance, as a student, I gave my last cash out to buy a compulsory manual to read for exam and am left with no money on me. The first thing that comes to my subconscious mind is “I need to call home. I need to expect money sooner or later”.
The point is, we definitely give to expect a return consciously or unconsciously but the motives behind it is what define whether it is legal, or bad or immoral. Thanks
Thank you so much for your comment. I deliberately didn't go further in my post because I was convinced that someone will bring these points to light. From your perspective, I do appreciate your view on trading/business, correct! that's business. But when it comes to sowing, I am of the opinion that, someone is sowing first because they love God and the divine rewards come secondary. But a situation where the motive behind sowing is to expect a divine reward, then it becomes a legalistic act/obligation, and takes away the 'giving'.
You are very right Princess but I think where the problem lies is that we werent clear on the aspect of giving you are talking on. Giving generally is very wide and giving may not necessarily be in form of money and definitely not all about money. Let's consider this together.
John 3:16 explains that God so much loves the world and He GAVE Jesus to the world so that He will receive much more sons and daughters into His Kingdom to have everlasting lives. That is giving and that is being expectant to receive much more people. I believe God didnt give Jesus to the world without expecting to recieve more sinners into His Kingdom, He gave because He knew he had a chance of receiving a lot more. So I believe that when it comes to giving, some part of us just need to expect not necessarily from the same person but may be from someone different.
Paraphrasing the usual saying, it's something like this, ” What goes around will come around” or 'What goes up must surely come down”, so when you throw a ball up (Giving it out), you definitely must expect it to come down (Being expectant). It's natural. It's normal.
*Please note that When you throw a ball up and expect two balls to come down, that is being GREEDY! and NOT GIVING! and that's where people miss it out. Thanks *
Giving should never be done with the intent of getting back irrespective of who it is done to. That's why friendships have so much broken and you hear words like 'After all I did for him/her'. Most people give to those they feel are capable of equaling what they've done or even more.
Jesus said in Luke 14:12-14 that when making feasts people shouldn't call their friends, relatives or those who they feel can repay them. Rather, they should call the blind, lame… people that they don't expect something in return from.
These days people give to God with the intent of getting back. God sees our hearts and knows our intentions. I stopped giving to God with the main motive of getting back. God will never lie to us. I give for love. There are no two ways about it; blessings will definitely come from God.
I'm not of the habit of replying people's comment, but Gboyega said 'I stand to be corrected'. I just want to say the kind of giving Chinomnso has talked about applies to giving to God as well. Churches have perfected the art of convincing people to give to God. One of the tools they use is the 'sowing' word. Yeah, that's right! We need to sow. In fact it's more like a command by God. But these folks don't talk much about giving for the sake of love affection and appreciation to God. Of course, when people are made to understand that as soon as they give, there'll be a return (which is the truth anyway). They find it easier to give. Have you ever thought of giving so much to God without expecting something. Would you still give a whole lot to the Supreme God? It's not a question of being faithless. It's just telling God that He deserves so much more.
The business angle to it. When you put money in a business either by giving someone some money or investing it in a way, it's all for personal reasons in the first place. That's not 'giving'. Another word would do, but definitely not 'giving'. You were very right when you said we give to expect a return consciously or unconsciously. And if we give for love it's because we expect to be loved back.
I still got my keyboard, but I stand to be corrected as well.
Adding even a 'full stop' is of no significance, in other words, your comment just 'hit the nail on the head'. Thanks for your contribution.
Erm.. Princess, I have a slightly different submission which i shall substantiate with references from the Bible. As a life member of FGBMFI, this particular scripture is overly emphasized in my chapter.. Luke 6:38: “Give, it shall be given unto you, good measure shaken together and running over” and “It is more blessed to give than to receive. Both quotes do indeed re-inforce my position on this subject. which is.. You are very entitled to expecting something in return when you give. This is a dimension to giving that God himself insists you put Him to test on. Malachi 3:10, God suggests your expecting an overflow from him. He so daringly states.. “PUT ME TO TEST”. I put God to test everytime i step forward to drop my tithe or offering and He has never failed.
Hi Daunte, thanks for your comment. Very much appreciated. Errrrm please what does FGBMFI stand for?? Secondly, one thing about giving is that, when you give; it's a natural law for a return to come in- this is indisputable. But the perspective where I am coming from is getting to a position where we (human beings) give out of love and appreciation to 'man' and God and not because we want to get a return. Luke 6:38 has stated the outcome to expect when we give, how about taking it a step further by giving out of love, when we know what follows after giving!
Hiya!! **Raises Both hands in the air… So i am OVERLY Guilty as charged! anddd i think you are right!!! No Scratch that! I KNOW you are right! Expecting takes away the sincerity of the act! I mean think about it Precious; JESUS Christ our Lord gave us his life and didnt ask for anything in return.. than that we love and honor him. And that my darling is the basics of life… as nothing else matters as much as Love.. and what is love but charity?!
Thanks for sharing Bubba… this was quite an insightful read!