Hello from the other side!
So I am in such high spirits today, I was practically dancing and singing at work . So I asked myself, what shall I blog about today?
Aha! I remember; I told my friend, ‘Helen’, that I have a post that I will dedicate to her, so I guess today is the day I get to upload the post. You’ll find out why I am dedicating this post to her, at the end of the post. Fair or not?
Few weeks ago, [that moment when I use the word ‘weeks’ in place of months] I went for a singles seminar with my young adult fam from my kingdom fam, and it was one of those ones where the speaker’s name was not quite familiar to me. I mistook him for Gary Chapman. However, I was open to going to listen to him, but I decided that I was not going to buy any of his materials till I heard him speak. Well, a girl has learnt to be very cautious of what she invests in, and who invests in her, through what she listens to.
But I have to say, that I was not just impressed after the first half of the seminar, I bought one of his books and got an autograph, as well. I literally sat in that auditorium shaking my head in affirmation. You know my kind, right?
I learnt new truths and was reminded of staple truths, as well. Hence, why I know this post will bless you. Yes, you!
Oh my bad! The speaker is Gary Thomas. Ever heard of him before now? Let me know below..
He started off with a few nuggets;
- You may not know what your future holds, but God gives you the choice of choosing who you face your future with.
- Many marriages fall apart because of lack of purpose.
- No character and sin kills sexual chemistry.
- You have to know the why of marriage before you determine the who. Can I get an Amen?!
The bedrock of his teaching was Matthew 6 v 33 NKJV
Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
His introductory analysis was about the great exception clause that most singles and unmarried follow and memorize which as a result becomes a lifestyle. He said that the above bible passage has been edited to something like this:
Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, except when you’re choosing someone to marry. In that case, you should follow your emotions, insist on a thrilling romantic attraction and overall relational compatibility that makes the relationship fun, and then all these things will be added unto you.
Then the title of this post was posed to us: Do you trust JESUS? Can you count on Him that when He said the words in Matthew 6 v 33, He knew and knows what He’s talking about?
The degree to which you compromise on this verse is the degree to which you put your future satisfaction in jeopardy and open wide the door to great frustration and even regret. -Gary Thomas, The Sacred Search.
What followed were six better things to look out for, in your partner:
- Find/Choose someone who can handles conflict. James 3 v 2a tells us that ‘we all stumble in many ways’. So conflict will arise, we are to choose someone who won’t avoid resolving conflict [stonewalling] or who will choose violence as the way to resolve conflict.
- Find/Choose someone who will be a spectacular parent. Personally, I like to believe that I understand the importance of choosing someone whom I’ll be proud of our children mirroring, and whom I can trust with the care and well-being of our children.
- Find/Choose someone who prays to God; someone who is not a stranger to God. If your boyfriend/girlfriend never talks about God, they’re not talking to God.
- Find/Choose who is humble. Do they have a servant’s heart? Do they have empathy for others? Are they passionate about others? Humility is the foundation of all character transformation before God.
- Find/Choose someone who is a giver, not a taker. It’s unselfish to want to marry a giver, as long as you are a giver.
- How do you know a taker? A taker’s response is first and foremost about them. Takers usually ask for something in return. Look at how they treat others.
- Find/Choose someone who has the Holy Spirit active in their life.
- How do you know? They fear God in a healthy way. They open up their souls to be used by God. Is this person encouraging your obedience to God or are they your greatest temptation?
Whew! Typing out the above words from my notebook has been a blessing all over again. I am very particular and attentive to words, so just imagine the smile I had on, listening to Gary, and how enriched I felt leaving the seminar.
You see the beauty of going to such seminars is the affirmation of your personal revelations and tutorials from Abba. You hear a confirmation, and there’s this liberty that comes with the feeling of ‘I am not alone’. That your principles are Christ-grounded, they did not just come from a place of no substance.
Ever so often, I like to put up something for the emotional/relationship part of us, that re-energizes our spirits at whatever phase we may be at; single [not in a purposeful relationship with the opposite sex] and unmarried [courting and engaged].
Listening to Gary was such a blessing and I could not keep these words to myself, even though it has taken this
I also want to encourage the singles:
I know you need [the]someone. It feels like that seems to be the only prayer that keeps lingering, but don’t lose hope. I want you to know that God hears, heard and will keep listening to the words of your heart. Revelation 8 v 3-4 tells us how the prayers of the saints are before God, so be rest assured, He did not miss any request. Don’t compromise your God-given standards. Keep seeking God and His righteousness in all that you do. Keep your eyes on eternity too. Keeps your ears attentive to God blazing couples. Guard your heart. Keep your God-filter active. Oh! Can we please enjoy this phase graciously, not with bitterness or with a ‘I don’t need a man/woman’ sticker. You are not alone. You are beautiful/handsome. You are loved by God. God affirms you. And I love you too!
Like I mentioned earlier, this post is dedicated to my very good friend, ‘Helen’ who is single and is the great age reminder. She never fails to tell me how my mates have children already, while she is enjoying her single life. LOL
I still love you, ‘Helen’!
Anyone got any nuggets to drop, feel free. Do your thing, below. Did any of the points stand out to you? Yes? Do let me know in the comments section; No? not a problem! Also say what came to mind as you read through.
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