WHAT SHE [THEY] SAID: Chastity for Men…

Hello Fam!

My unplanned absence [Forgive this girl, please *puppy face*] from the blog is over; and we are having a book review as I stated in the last blog post.

But before we get into the book, I want to pen down a few words about the ‘primary’ author of this book, Frances Okoro.

I cannot vividly remember how our paths crossed, what I do remember was the fact that I was just interested in another lady, who studied law and loves Jesus, and is not ashamed to let the world know. I dropped my 2 cents on her blog, and the rest…. [Frances will have to tell us]

Frances Okoro is a lover of Christ who is bestowed with a transforming gift of transparency, and she is not afraid to declare that the liberating and transforming power of God is real; and she is a living proof. Her gift of transparency, I call transforming; because you read her words of the works of Christ in her, and you are able to come to the realization that she has an intimacy with God. Apart from being a lady of inspiration, she is a jovial and fun-loving person, who loves travelling, adventure and never finds a reason to hide that smile. She is a passionate adherent of finding and fulfilling purpose, love through the eyes of God, purposeful relationships and being chaste. So it is no surprise that she worked hard, with the grace of God, to make this e-book available for the world to read, and be transformed.


The book has eight chapters, consisting of various contributing authors, who share their stories and pen down some words of wisdom behind the reason why being chaste and holy is integral to living a life destined by God for us.

Frances started off by sharing her own story, which can be summarized in this passage:

So I say, walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh… Galatians 5 v 16

She shared her story of how she was involved in activities that were far from being chaste, and how God washed her off that past and has given her a new life, that has no chapter of her past. In light of this new life, she generously proclaims: ‘I serve a God who is able to give you a clean slate’.

One key point I took from her story, is the understanding that, after God has given us a clean slate, it does not end there. We have a part to play. We have to feed the Spirit of God in us. In her own words:

What you feed is what grows in you. You feed the flesh and it grows. You feed the Spirit and He grows in you. You slip away even for one minute in your unguarded hours and satan comes back in, with full force.

Richard Abe shared on the truth about sex. I was struck by the words from Proverbs 31 v 3 that he referenced;

Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

An understanding of who you are dictates the things you get involved in. A wise king [queen] is one who should be on guard and be up-to-date on the vile of his/her oppositions. No wise king/queen deliberate steps into the camp of their oppositions with no weapons, or leave their palace unguarded. As children of God, when we come to the understanding of who we carry in us, we won’t dabble in anything that will destroy His presence in us.

Another beautiful thing about Mr Abe’s contribution was the list of efforts he penned down, that have helped him stay chaste.

Peter Abraham takes a more specific angle, by sharing how he overcame masturbation through the help of God. He talked about how two key factors had a part to play in his past: environment and friends.

Source- Google images.

Source- Google images.

His piece was quite intriguing as he comes from a Pastor’s home with a high level of morality, but the word ‘sex’ was never mentioned. I found it intriguing as this has become an everyday reality, where it is believed that, not talking about it, will prevent abuse. I am not pointing fingers, but if there is anything I know in this lil’ life I have lived is that: ‘If you won’t teach your child/ward, someone else will do the work’. There is no vacuum, if you are not filling it, it will be filled by someone else.

Mr Abraham shared an unusual but effective [it worked for him] story of how he stopped masturbating. [You’ll have to read the book to know the story].

Mr Daniel Nwabuzor shared his story on how being a young male is no excuse to indulge in immoral sexual activities. A few words from his section that I loved….

Remaining chaste is not a job description solely left for monks to commit to. I submit that it’s a Godly command…. Male chastity is not weird and awkward, it is noble and God is in total agreement with it. After all, the scriptural command was not preached to a female congregation alone.

His piece is one that challenges the youths to live for Christ in their youth, just as 1 Timothy 4 v 12 says:

Don’t allow anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith and your purity.

Mr Silas Abangu was also very open on the different factors that result in indulging in sexually immoral activities. The mind is the genesis of most of our actions, and what we feed the mind with, we reproduce in actions. He wrote on evil vices on the internet, and talked about Spartacus being a no-no.

Personally, I agree on the series, Spartacus being a series to stay away from. I know how I had to battle off the scenes from mind. Too graphic! The trick the devil uses is, when you watch one, you are drawn to keep watching to the end. Staying off such movies, is the way to go.

He also shared steps he took that helped him stop masturbating.

You remember, Mr Tobi Atte from a previous post here, he is also a contributor in this book. He had a lot of wisdom to drop, but I can only share a few.

One point he mentioned that got me jumping on my feet was this revelation:

It occurred to me that there was a trend in how God dealt with men who operated outside His will (especially in their relations with women), that was different from how he dealt with women. For a woman, God seems to punish based on the individual incident. For men, it is always expanded to his work, his life and even future generations…

Please read Genesis 3 v 16-19, then remember Abraham and David.

I won’t divulge any further deep truths from his piece, but I will let you dig in for your own.

Words of wisdom from Dr Enwongo Ettang centered on reasons why chastity is for your benefit and how to go about overcoming the strong desire to engage in sexual relations outside God’s will.

There are also chapters that focused on how the word of God is our ticket to living in freedom from lust, how we need to understand that sex is our true worship to God [Chastity is also one of the greatest forms of worship a man can give to God- Mr Tobi Atte].

There is a chapter for the ladies as well, so no one is left out of this great ‘banquet’.

Chastity for Men is a powerful book. I am not saying this because it was written by someone I love. I am saying this because I felt the weight of the revelations and wisdom embedded in this book.


Dear Frances, I do not know all that you had to go through to make this e-book a reality, but I know it was not a walk in the park getting all these lights [the contributing authors] to shine through this book. But be rest assured, that this book is a weapon that will liberate souls and remind children of God that God still loves purity in this day and age.

This book is perfect, if there is anything like a flaw, it is the title. I feel the knowledge in this book is for all and not just men. I know the ladies have their own chapter, but I learnt from every page of this book, that I kept asking myself: ‘Why did my lady give it this title- ‘Chastity for men’?

But then again, ‘Men’ can be used in place for both male and female, right?

I love your boldness. I know how people questioned why a lady should be writing a book to men, but I know that anyone who reads the book will take such questions back. Thank you for stressing how important it is to know that being a virgin is not simultaneous to being pure. I thank God for your life, for the simplicity of the words and clarity for easy understanding.

My prayer for you is that you will continuously be a relevant vessel to God. God will give you more revelation of Him that your light will shine and men will have no option but to ask that you tell them about the giver of your light [God]. Amen.

My beloved readers, I urge you to read this book and share it, I feel my review cannot do justice to this book. I cannot share the whole content, that’s why you’ll love to read it here.

You can also visit her blog: www.imperfectlyperfectlives.com

Stay blessed.

P.S: Shout out to the newest members of the Precious Thoughts Family. Welcome!


You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. Matthew 5 v 14-16 MSG

Missed my last post?

Got Questions/Suggestion: preciousthoughts2013@gmail.com

Princess Okechukwu!



6 thoughts on “WHAT SHE [THEY] SAID: Chastity for Men…

  1. Princess my sister…This had me crying and saying a prayer that I have been saying a lot these days – “Lord you see my heart, I can’t seem to make the words come out right but you see my heart”.The letter to Frances got me…whats Daddy doing? I don’t know but I know I am grateful for sisters like you He has surrounded me with.Me too can’t clearly remember the first time our paths crossed oh. I’m just glad we did! :-)Thank you so much for this review, anytime I read one, again I know that I was just a vessel, not used because I am perfect, I was just an instrument and the book is for me too.The part on “what I feed myself hit me again”, didn’t seem like I wrote that. I pray for grace to feed my spirit over and above the flesh.The words you highlighted from the men hit me over and over again too.Thank you for giving me words to learn from(yes, again, I am part of the congregation jare, only an instrument).Thank you.And oh, the ladies will have their copy soon by God’s grace. Kai! They’ve been harranguing me for it.lol.So when people read then they won’t wonder about the title since ladies will have their own. Hehe.Hugsss and looove sis. I’m just glad that God’s love in our hearts transcends distance and space.Thank you.Ps: this is from my mail so plenty yeye underneath. Frances Okorowww.imperfectlyperfectlives.com From: Precious Thoughts!Sent: Friday, September 4, 2015 00:46To: okorofrances@gmail.comReply To: Precious Thoughts!Subject: [New post] WHAT SHE [THEY] SAID: Chastity for Men…

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    Princess Okechukwu posted: ”

    Hello Fam!

    My unplanned absence [Forgive this girl, please *puppy face*] from the blog is over; and we are having a book review as I stated in the last blog post.

    But before we get into the book, I want to pen down a few words about the ‘primary”


  2. I am always of the opinion that virginity is not purity, and is not a guarantee that we will make heaven. I believe it is more of a decision we make to honor God with our bodies and mind too.
    I always argue that there is no Bible ‘code’ that says chastity is exclusively for women. It was preached to everyone– male and female. As a matter of fact, one of the people who preached it more (Paul) used himself as an example. He was chaste. So, most times I see no reason why men should excuse themselves from the chastity talk.
    This book is a book on time. I love what I’ve read. People need to read it. This is one of the few books I have read that addresses chastity for men.

    Nice Review Princess. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the book.

    Liked by 1 person

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